Ephemeral

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I don’t know much about what’s going on and what will happen ahead, what’s there to achieve or what's there to leave, where we are meant to go or where we are meant to stay and what we are supposed to be doing but I have cried in several airports (not enough) for now. I have laughed with my colleagues at the same joke for a month in Eastbourne as they served me a raisin cake (the only vegan option that was available). I have belly danced with Arabic ladies, who also showed me their beautiful wedding dresses. I have sat quietly in a random art studio in Bali where they were just painting and they didn't ask me what I was doing there or anything, which I loved. I met a Swiss girl in Bali and within a day we decided to go to Lombok together and had an adventurous time. These are some of the experiences that came to my mind just now. They are just that- experiences. Some are content with accumulating things and that’s great. I am happy with accumulating experiences. Either of them are neither right nor wrong. They are just our preferences and all part of our extensions, I guess. There are times I have acted in a timid way and there are times I have presented myself fully. My brother said to me - “I hope you find what you are looking for”, before going to Australia. I didn’t know what I was looking for. I came back and still don't know what I am looking for. This much I understood for now though- life doesn't have answers and it is not a puzzle to be solved. In the simplest term, life just is. 'is' in a sense that it is present. 'is' in a sense that it is distant as it is a third-person singular of the present tense. 
I realised I do not have to prove anything to anybody. "I have travelled to these many places" " I did this for my birthday" and so on. All of these, as Aziz Ansari says (in his latest Netflix special Right Now), are just ephemeral. 

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